Why is it so hard to accept that God loves us?

In Christian circles, we are often bombarded with the words “God loves you”, we hear them in our churches, small groups, Christian books, and in song, both those that we listen to and the ones we sing in church. But, there seems to be a problem, a significant disconnect, between hearing these words and coming to embrace them as words that depict our personal experience. That, indeed, has been my journey.

Perhaps you have never struggled with this concept at all, that is wonderful, may you be profoundly and abundantly blessed in every way, feel free to read no further. But if you have, I hope that the following may be of some service to you.

When we look at the cross, the supreme sacrifice of our amazing Lord, we know this is an expression of love. Bible verses abound on this topic. As do sites that talk about this, a quick google search of “bible verses God’s love” returns 24 million responses. Here is the most well-known of these verses:

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.

John 3:16

While as a follower of Christ I of course wholeheartedly agree with this verse, and every single other one in the bible, I have struggled to apply them to myself.

I remember being told, by kind-hearted people with good intentions, “if there was no one else on earth Jesus would still have died for you”. And I could not help thinking this was a ridiculous argument, how could I know that? Jesus didn’t do that. Indeed, there is no way to prove that he would have. To the contrary, he didn’t do that when there were only a few people on earth. What Jesus did do was die for the multitudes, past and present. And, so, I reasoned with myself, he died for all these wonderful people. I’m just lucky that somehow I scraped in with all the rest. But he doesn’t really love me.

I can look around at all the remarkable people who attend my church on a Sunday and think, “Yes, God loves these wonderful people”. And at the same time think, “but I am unworthy of his love”. I remember articulating that, far less succinctly, to someone and being told (with I am sure also the very best of intentions) that I could not say that if I believed in God. And so, unwittingly, guilt was added to my deep sense of unworthiness, and a reluctance to put expression to this was born.

I got to the point when the guilt was too much for me so I would say, “ok, God somehow loves me, but he can’t like me”. To me, this became another way of articulating the expression that God, “loves the sinner but not the sin”. But, truthfully, I didn’t believe either.

The problem was I knew myself, I knew my failings, my sin, and my inadequacies. I couldn’t see how God could possibly love me, or like me for that matter.

I told myself I didn’t really need to know this. That I could follow Jesus to the best of my ability. I could seek to honour God with my life, to serve and to obey him. And that ultimately this was unimportant. But, it turns out, God seemed to think otherwise.

So if all the songs, words, feel-good wishes and cards, books and bible verses could not convince me that I was loved by the creator of the universe, what did? Or, as for me at least this is an ongoing process, what does?

I described in my last post how God spoke to me in a vision and how that vision utterly transformed me. That was an essential step for me in this process. In fact, for a long time, I thought that I had moved on, and that vision had convinced me of God’s love. It turns out I was wrong. And I must laughingly admit that yet again, God knows me better than I know myself.

About a year ago, someone told me that I needed to let God tell me how much he loved me. To my surprise, I found myself filled with dread. I panicked. But I didn’t know why. I think, in hindsight, I was afraid of rejection. That I would find that my deepest fears were realised: that God truly did love everyone else but that he didn’t love me. Or that I would talk to God about this and find that he had nothing to say.

Maybe sometimes we need to give God permission to speak, perhaps that at least tunes our ears in his direction. But, regardless, God had certainly decided that this was the time he wanted to address this. For, suddenly, he did speak. And what he said took my breath away.

He spoke to me again and again of how he sees me, of how much he loves me.

For nothing comes as a surprise to him. He knows me. He knows my struggles, my failings, my weakness and my inadequacies. And he has told me that they are necessary because they draw me to his feet. He tells me that he loves me in them. That in my weakness, he gets to shine. That if I was perfect, there would be a problem, for then I would have no need of him.

So, for me, the only answer to this question lies in relationship. Not in an I-talk-at-God and that is our relationship kind of thing, but a to and fro, a give and take, a deep relating. It is getting up early, often ridiculously early, in the morning and sitting at his feet. There he so often tells me of his love. He tells me how he sees me, he says that I am his. He calls me his daughter, friend, beloved and tells me that I am the dwelling place of the Most High God.

Almighty God, you are the creator of the Universe, the first and the last, the one who is exalted above all names. And yet, you call us your children. You invite us to know you as our Daddy. You have made us to know you deeply and personally. But so often we struggle to believe that you could possibly love us. Please, open our ears, our eyes and our hearts to hear what you have to say. Teach us what it means to be your children. Help us to truly know that you love us. Amen

So how about you? Do you believe that God loves you? If you do, how have you come to that knowledge?

Perhaps you have read all this, but you have never really thought about God loving you at all, maybe it comes as a surprise to learn that he does, or that he could. If you would like to know more, feel free to have a look here for some ideas.

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