Hearing God part 3 – Hope for those who don’t

I was in conversation with someone recently, and they spoke to me about how they have never heard from God. They said that they have tried. That they have sought to listen, and they have asked God to speak, but they do not hear anything. They told me how they longed to hear from God in the way so many others seem to, and yet that has not been their experience. And I said that I understood. For I too was once in that place.

This is the third post in this series on Hearing God. Here are the links for the two previous posts if you have not had a chance to read them yet:

Hearing God part 1 – an introduction

Hearing God part 2 – how does God speak?

For many years I felt that I could not hear God. I tried. Oh, how I tried. I spent a great deal of time trying to listen. Trying to hear what he had to say.

I was always drawn to this aspect of relating to God. Drawn to the idea of communion, fellowship, friendship and relationship with my Creator and Saviour. I knew that hearing from God was a necessary requirement for these types of being, and I fundamentally believed that God was a God who speaks. But I did not and could not hear him.

From a young age, I prayed many prayers and read my Bible, usually early in the morning before anyone else was stirring. As I grew older, I longed to know God more and to hear from him. Very occasionally I would think that maybe, just maybe, I had done so.

Perhaps something would stand out to me as I read my Bible, or I would see something that caught my attention and awakened a deep yearning within me. Maybe I would wake from a dream that I couldn’t get out of my head. Or a song would play endlessly in my mind. I look back now, and I see each of these moments as points in time when I was learning, imperfectly and falteringly though it was, to distinguish God’s voice. I was learning to recognise the stirrings of the Spirit. My ears were slowing tuning to the language of God. But while I can see this now in hindsight, it did not seem so at the time.

I became increasingly frustrated and more and more desperate. I felt that somehow I was incapable of doing that which should be the birthright of all the children of God. During these years, I read several books that were beacons of light for they spoke hope and promise to me of what could be.

Over time the picture that grew in my mind was of myself sitting at Jesus’ feet, but although I could see that his lips were moving and I knew that he was speaking, I could not hear what he was saying.

And then I was given an incredible gift of a few people who both understood my longing and who gave me hope that this was not the end of the story. These were people for whom such a relationship with God was their reality. And so one day I got up the courage to ask a few people to pray for me. And nothing happened. Seemingly nothing changed. My frustration only increased. But, I had a growing sense that I should keep pursuing this, that this was not something to give up on or to take lightly. And so that is what I did. I sought prayer on several other occasions and spoke at length with people about my longing for God.

It is funny how, at the time, one can think that we are alone and that we cannot see or find God in our situation. I look back, and I see him in conversations, in times of prayer both on my own and with others, in the books that I read and the friendships that were formed.

Someone once told me that what I wanted from God was no trivial thing. That the kind of relationship I was after was not easily won. It was almost as if God were asking me: How much do you want this? How far are you willing to go? Will you do anything that I ask? Will you pay the price? For God is seeking those who will love him and seek him with all of their heart (Jeremiah 29:13). He is the pearl of great price (Matthew 13:45), and He is looking for people who will pay any expense (Philippians 3:7-9). Who will go anywhere and who will obey at all costs.

Yes, I have found this road to be costly. I have had to be willing to face who I am in my sin and my shame. And to bring that, in the presence of others, before the throne of God. I have felt at times like I am walking through fire, and I will not survive this process. Maybe this is because I have learnt, even if only a little, what it is to die to myself. I have had to learn to cultivate an environment and a stillness into which God can speak. To give God time and space and to do so day after day, no matter how I feel or what distractions or disasters come my way.

But, over time, certainly not instantly, but gradually, I have found God. I have found an intimacy with Jesus that I once only dreamed of. I have discovered that my life of prayer has become increasingly less about what I say and far more about what He says. Prayer has become for me a place of dialogue, of conversation, and of mutual communion. It is often a place where words simply cease. I have found myself held in the arms of the Father, face to face with my Saviour and indwelt by the very Spirit of God.

Not that I have attained all that I hope for, far from it, but I am so much further down this journey than I once was and for that, I am eternally grateful. I know that Jesus is calling each of us on this journey into a deeper relationship with him and that we are simply the called. What a gift it is to be that.

If hearing God is not something that you are familiar with, if you long for depth and intimacy in your relationship with God, there is hope. The journey to that point may well be lengthy. Much will be required, but much is promised. And there is no adventure more worth taking.

Companionship on this journey has been pivotal for me, and I wonder if it is if not for all, or at least for most. So have courage, reach out, find others who are further along this journey than you. We would love to hear from you too, either in the comments below, or feel free to contact us.

Father, Son, Spirit, you have made us to know you and to be satisfied in you. And yet we find ourselves longing to know you more. We long to know you and be known by you. To walk closely with you, to hear you, not just now and then, but to converse with you. To commune with you. And to live in a relationship of deep intimacy with you. Lead us on that path, no matter what it costs. Amen.

How would you describe your relationship with God? Do you hear from Him on a regularly? What has been essential for you in growing closer to Him? Do you long for him?

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